of the beach and clothes

the other day was september 11th. a date that i couldn’t wait to arrive, courtesy of david usher and the intimate acoustic performance he did at rw&co. a store, by the way, that i’d never heard of before, but when i heard about the contest, i promptly joined their mailing list and entered the contest. in a shocking turn of events (in my life at least), i won! for my trouble i received 2 passes (whoo hoo) and a $50.00 gift certificate to the store! yey me. however, after checking out the boring clothes on the walls and racks – i’m not sure what i’ll spend my gift certificate on…. after spending the summer at the gym – i do need new pants though!but more important than the clothes, obviously – was the acoustic performance itself. as always, the performance was incredible. in such a small venue with so little other instrumentation i was able to lose myself in the texture and strength of david’s voice and marvel at what sounded like new keyboard arrangements on old favourites like ‘push’. it really was special and i consider myself fortunate to have been there.

my pictures are really blurry (no flash allowed, please and thank you) and none of them really turned out with the exception of this one :

while going through my camera, i also found some more bad pictures i took at david’s beachfest 2007 show. the guy moves so damned fast on stage that i often just end up with a blur where a person should be. this one is a little atmospheric, a little not.

a gurl needs goals…. or something like that….

i’m playing with the idea of switching blogs.  my original is a blogger and it’s been so long abandoned that i’m sure there’s dust bunnies if you’d care to look for them.   i’m not sold on the idea of moving yet. i am a creature of habit and there are some things i’m not groovin’ on at the new home.

for instance – the stats tracker sucks at wordpress. if i do make the plunge, i will bring my current stats tracker with me. it rocks. and i’m still getting used to the layout differences and the fact that even though there are at least 2 dozen more templates to use – that the one i’ve picked locks me into the dread capital letter. oh, we should all have such problems. troubles and woe.

i whined about this in an earlier blog, but my trainer is moving to a new gym and my sessions with him are ending soon. i think i have 3 more weeks or so with him. still so sad about that. i’m happy to be on my own in the gym – but i’ll miss his energy and his enthusiasm.

two days ago we’ve picked some new goals for me to attain before he leaves. one of them i did tonight! whoo hoo for me. i bench pressed 40lb dumbbells. who knew. when i started this whole thing on april 20, i had no clue that i’d be doing stuff like this. yey me. not only did i do 40 – but i did 13 solid reps of 40! before we started tonight, my trainer said he figured i’d be able to do 4 or 5 solid ones and to give it what i had. i sailed past 5 and kept going. so exciting. now of course, we’re talking 50lbs. he thinks i should be able to do 2 or 3 reps. haha. sure – why not!

the other goal – which i have serious doubts about – is a chin-up. a full on chin-up. that’s a lot of upper body strength and i’m not sure i’m there yet. we have 3 weeks to get me there. crazy. tonight i did 2 with a counter-weight of 35. that poor performance isn’t going to get me to a chin-up! we’ll see how it goes. i have faith though – why not. why couldn’t i?

everyone should invest in multiple sessions with their own trainer. they help you to open up fitness and physical possibilities that you would never have dreamed attainable.

another goal (haha) i have for myself is to get on twitter. sounds simple, huh? damn. this thing is fighting me tooth and nail. david usher is talking about sending twitter notices (tweet, tweet, little birdie) for guerrilla-style accoustic sets that could happen anywhere, anytime. i would be most unhappy to miss that! but twitter doesn’t love me right now. i’ve sent them an email – let’s see what they can do.

big day tomorrow. boot camp, yoga and a facial. how lovely. a self-indulgent day dedicated to me!

[music : adele | “daydreamer”]

it takes confidence

while outside eating my lunch this afternoon, i happened to look up from my book and noticed a very obnoxious hot pink delivery truck. that’s right – there’s no two ways about it. it was a pink cube van. hot pink. and it was a holt renfrew truck! all i could think (besides, damn, where’s my camera!) was, “it takes a man who is very confident in his own masculinity to drive around the streets of downtown toronto in a hot pink truck.” holts seems to be making hot pink their signature colour. check out their website to see the colour their delivery vans and paper shopping bags are this season.

i happen to work close to holts and my gym is close to holts so i end up seeing a lot of the holts–ites in the area. it’s funny really – i don’t know what it is about obscene amounts of money that makes you just look like a holts person. perhaps is the impeccable (expensive) clothing, perhaps it’s the precise haircuts and make-up – but i’m starting to think it’s the footware that probably ends up costing approximately what i pay in rent each month. maybe it’s all those things combined. maybe it’s just the fact that money gives these style mavens a dose of confidence, may it be real or simply an illusion seems to not matter.

my hair stylist moved to montreal a year ago and i’ve been lucky enough have had my hair cut by her twice since she’s left. once she came for a visit and fit me in and the second time was in march when i visited montreal. the other cut i’ve had in the past year was at the holt renfrew salon. i made a grave error and thought that since i wanted a bob, that a place like holts should be the perfect place to get a classic cut with a modern twist.

and wow… was i ever wrong…

i ended up looking like a soccer-mum. *shudder* it was such a non-edgy, boring, safe, staid cut. not at all what i was used to after more than a decade of having my hair cut at coupe bizzarre. i was used to walking out after my cut and feeling the confidence that the amazing haircut would give me. that for a day or two my hair was perfect and looked exactly the way i wanted it to look. needless to say, i did not go back to the holts hair butcher. my hair is getting a little long and a little unruly, but i’m thinking i’ll hold off for a cut until i go to montreal in october! hopefully i don’t cave before then. and if i do – i’m wondering if i should go to vidal sassoon. i know, it’s probably a mistake waiting to happen – but that’s the thing about hair – it grows back! it’s just the times when you’re waiting for it to grow that are murder….

[music | nlx, “code red”]

education

a few things i learned today :

my trainer is moving gyms in about 6 weeks. 😦 so sad about that. i’ve loved working out with him. he’s given me so much confidence in the gym. i’ll make the most of my 17 remaining sessions!

i hate humidity. actually, i didn’t learn that today. it was simply reinforced knowledge.

i’m developing allergies! ack! i went for a 3 hour walk (or so) in high park last night with michael and this morning i woke up with no voice, itchy itchy eyes and a scratchy throat. oh – and a puffy face. lovely. someone told me it’s ragweed season. why am i developing allergies now!?! *sigh*

there may be pay raises coming at work. maybe, just maybe. i’m not holding my breath though. not-for-profits tend not to have crazy pay raises!

[music | david usher, “in this light”]

shudder, how embarassing

to think, when i last wrote here i was watching a gawdawful music reality show. not just watching, gleefully and faithfully blogging on it.

well. what’s happened over the past year?

work has gotten busy and then no so busy and is now crazed again.
it’s my own fault – i have some work-addict tendencies that i must squash. especially because there are so many other things to do!

i’ve been to both paris and to tuscany since i last wrote here.
really. believe it. i can hardly! paris was october and july was tuscany/rome. i feel so fortunate to be able to have visited two of the worlds greatest cities in less than one year.

health and fitness for all!
i’ve realized i’m getting older and not younger and therefore have begun this business of taking better care of myself. better now than later. my mom had a health scare in the spring (right around my birthday, no less) and thankfully, it’s not as bad as initially feared. it’s still not great, but it’s not immediately catastrophic. send some healthy thoughts to her – will you?

anyway – her health scare prompted me into action for my own health. i have a few issues i’ve been avoiding for a while and began to own up to them to myself. this prompted me to the gym. not only to reactivate my 3.5 year old membership, but to sign up with a personal trainer. that’s right, since april 20th i’ve been working 3 hours a week with a trainer. i’m nearly at the end of my sessions (my visa will be reeling for months, if not years to come) – but so far it’s been worth it. i’m leery about the whole scale/size/inches thing – but let’s just say that i’ve noticed some major differences in not only how i appear, but more importantly, in how i feel. even better than that – i honestly feel like i’ve built a new foundation that will last the rest of my life. i’m all about the strength training now. i guess i should do more cardio, but a the moment i’m loving the feeling of being the only gurl in the free weights area with these testosterone guys. heehee. it’s a trip.

i have started keeping fish.
and now have two tanks! it’s a lovely hobby that’s turned into a full fledged fishy-obsession. i even have a small tank in my bedroom and my fish are having babies! they are promptly eating their babies, but we’ll work on saving the next batch. 😉

what else is new. a few and sundry items.
i’ve decided i hate my downstairs neighbours (both sets of them). jerks, slobs and cheapskates. is it really so hard to take out the garbage on your scheduled week? and is it so hard to pay for the garage you’re renting from me? and is it really so hard to collapse boxes for recycling and to not put random junk in with the bottles? seriously….

i’ve fallen under the evil-sway of facebook. it sucks up many many hours of otherwise productive time.

i’m tempted to move from sympatico to rogers. anyone out there have any advice? i find sympatico’s customer service is either non-existent or that it resembles strapping on full body-armour in order to absorb the battle. but really, would rogers be any better? i have my doubts. but at this point i’m convinced that if i could burn the bridge to bell – that i’d be a much happier person.

i am looking forward to september and october when i will see david usher no less than 4 times, tori amos 2 times and regina spektor once. as shan said – ‘rocktober is shaping up to be incredible’!

[music : sia, ‘numb’]

pages of a not-so-open book

don’t ask me why, but i was inspired by an email i recieved – feel free to post the same on your own blog…

2 moments in your life you’d like to erase

1 – the time i was too afraid to go to a concert by myself. after a phone interview tori amos asked me if i’d be going to her upcoming show in toronto. i’d told her i wasn’t able to afford a ticket and she said, ‘what’s money between friends. i’ll put you on the list. i’d like to meet you.’ comes the day of the show and i was throwing up all day. could of been 24-hour flu or it could of been nerves. i’ve regretted it ever since. it taught me to hate regret and taught me to allow myself the strength to make choices that i won’t regret.
2 – the time i had to help my mom hide the easter baskets for myself and my younger brother and sister.

3 moments you’d like to re-live

1 – any moment where i was laughing to the point of tears. i love those moments.
2 – when my in grade 7 my phys. ed. teacher told me i was very graceful; as i’d lived my life believing i was clumsy and awkward.
3 – the feeling i had sitting by the sacred lake at karnak temple in luxor, egypt.

2 places you wouldn’t want to go again

1 – high school – for obvious reasons
2 – athens, greece – i got yelled at too many times for it to have been enjoyable.

3 places you can’t wait to visit/visit again

nyc – my current travel-crush
montreal – it’s been so long… i miss the people and the streets and the shopping
london – to see the things i didn’t care to see when i was silly and 24.

2 foods you can’t stand

meat – i’m a veggie
daal – i love indian food, but can not stand to eat daal. *shudder* it’s the texture, i think.

3 foods you love

tofu and veggies in thai red curry
dishes with mushrooms and tomatos (fresh or sundried)
my mom’s saskatoon pie

2 current songs that make you change the station

i don’t listen to the radio anymore – there are FAR too many songs that made me want to change the station that i eventually turned it off for good.

4 current songs you play over and over

the music – david usher
when you were young – the killers
is it any wonder? – keane
lips like morphine – kill hannah

2 books you’d never finish/read again

the english patient – michael ondaatje – tried several times, but found it way to pretentious
when we were orphans – ishiguro kazuo – could not get through this one and won’t try again

4 books you have read more than once

the chronicals of narnia (all volumes, several times)
neverwhere – neil gaiman (have re-read all of his novels)
eva luna – isabelle allende (loved this one so much that i read it a second time right after the first time)
dracula – bram stoker (probably partly responsible for my love of vampires and bats)

[music | muse, “starlight”]

toronto zoo and tattoos

the things we do to entertain ourselves. my past weekend involved the zoo and a tattoo. a virtual study in extremes.

first, i had a tattoo re-done on saturday. the poor thing (a bat on my upper arm) was done in august of 1993 and the artist that did it has died of a drug overdose. lovely. i now go to a new artist, one who does not seem like a heroin addict and he did a great job of making my poor sad and neglected bat look all shiny and new again. if you’re interested in getting work done – go to jay at passage. he’s incredible.

and for all those lovely individuals out there who told me that getting a tat retouched hurts because they’re going over scar tissue – you’re wrong. getting the damned thing feels exactly the same as getting any old tattoo. what should be said, however, is that the healing process is much longer, much more intense and generally not fun at all. i’m now just hoping that all the colour took – so i can avoid the healing again!

also – i ended up booking a new appointment for a new tattoo… 🙂 i’m getting it at the end of october. as long as the money holds out, i’ll be inking myself…. i can feel the images attaching themselves to my skin as i tap away.

but the real reason for my post today is to put up some pictures of the animals at the toronto zoo. i went on sunday and it was an incredible day. the weather really couldn’t of been better (sunny and clear) and it was a fantastic day. i ended up leaving just before closing. i walked my little feet off and was feeling a little strain around my left foot for days afterward!

this guy was the coolest thing ever. i seriously fell in love with him. he’d float over the the glass, stare at the silly humans standing there, practically wink at us, and then push himself off of the glass with his back paws. really quite dramatic. you go bear!

and here he is pushing off. brilliant.

this bear was playing with a giant rubber ball. he’d push down on it with his front paws until it went shooting across the cement pond. it looked like fun and made me laugh!

the zoo now has 2 hippos in their vastly improved habitat. they spent about 30 minutes wrestling with each other. and by wrestling, i mean opening their mouths and lip wrestling. seriously. 🙂

i have admitted to myself that i have a thing for giraffe’s. i really do. can’t get enough of them.
as evidenced by the 20-odd images on my digital camera.

this is the matriarch – tara. we happened to hit the elephants at the same time the elephant keeper was doing a q&a. hence the knowledge of the name of the matriarch… 😉

the rhino brigade. i love the fact these three large barrel shaped tanks are standing in front of the red rocks. it’s like they know a good photo op when they see it.

nothing more graceful than a swan. and this one really knew his angles. i have a second picture of him with the only difference being the fact that he’s looking the other direction. very very nice.

a flock of flamingos going though some pretty serious politics. they all seemed to be having a bad day.
a very bad day.

[music | nxl, “i got a lot”]

blistering heat and feet

we’ve had several days of hideous hot and humid weather here in toronto. if the sun isn’t beating down on you, you feel as though you are wading through hot butter. urgh. oh, did you want to sleep comfortably at night? not so fast, you great un-air conditioned masses.

and most alarming of all – last friday i heard the summer’s first cicada. normally those suckers don’t come out until the august long weekend. just goes to show that nature thinks it’s pretty freakin’ hot too.

but what is amazing about the hot weather is that you can wear girly skirts and beautiful shoes. after getting over my summer cold, i decided it was time to christen the new gorgeous shoes i’d picked up on an end-of-season sale just before the plague hit me. are these not just amazing? so so pretty! and they made me so tall and feminine. when you’re 5’4″ it’s nice to pretend you’re 5″8. ack! that’s right, 4″ heels.

as i left the apartment, i had a vision of me placing a pair of comfortable shoes in a bag and bringing those along – just in case. you never know how new shoes are going to treat you (normally not well). throwing caution to the wind (“i’m tall! i’m wearing a flirty skirt! look at my shoes!”) i left without the sensible gear.

what a mistake. by the time i got off of the subway downtown i was feeling like i was walking a bit like one of the chinese women who’d been through a deforming foot binding. as i clomped my way through the underground i could hear a definite change in my gait. where previously i was tap-tap-tapping along, now i was whap-tap-whap-tapping along. and wondering if i’d ever seen the grocery store selling flip-flops. the answer, in case you were wondering, was”no”. but being a somewhat/sometimes bright girl, i picked up a box of band-aids (55 & assorted sizes).

regardless, men held doors open for me twice as i made my way to work. i like to think it was because i was tall and wearing a flirty skirt and had empowering shoes on – but in retrospect, it may just of been because they saw me trying not to limp through doorways. they could very well of been thinking, “poor poor girl, why’d she go out without her cane?”.

i walk the 10 minutes to work and at this point just dying to sit at my desk and take of my shoes and plaster my feet with band-aids. which i do. which is a good plan, until i need to use the washroom. which meant i needed to put the evil shoes back on. i do my best and wander on over to the loo and a gay co-worker sees me and says, “work it girl! you look amazing today!”. i smile, thank him and then lean against the door and say i’m about to cry. immediately understanding the look in my eye in the way only a gay man or another female would, he looked down at my feet and said, “ooh, new shoes. ouch. if it’s any consolation, you look great.”

i could go on in a similar vein, but i think we all get the picture. i ended up having to cancel a lunch with another co-worker. i had to tell her why i needed to postpone our club monaco trip. being an amazing person, on her way back from lunch, she went to a dollar store and picked up a pair of flip flops for me to wear the rest of the day. prior to the gift of comfortable shoes, i was convinced i’d need to take a cab home. the cab would of cost about $25.00. washing out the point of buying those death-trap shoes on sale.

so there i am wearing an orange skirt and new cheap PINK flip flops. there was some orange on the sole of the shoes (in a vague attempt to match, i guess) but let’s not be fooled. they were bubble-gum pink. quite a bit less fabulous than the enzo angiolini’s i was wearing earlier in the day. i’m sorry, let me revise – i wasn’t so much as wearing them as having my feet turned into minute steaks in them.

regardless – i wore those flip flops home, the pretty new shoes in a bag by my side. and trust me – i did my level best to muster all the glamour of a fashion forward five-year-old as i walked back down the street.

[music david usher, “the music”]

he doesn’t look a thing like jesus

my kitten artemis is spending her second night at the vet’s. i miss her. she was spayed this morning and my fabu vet sent me a picture of her in “recovery” immediately post-surgery. now that’s a good vet! it’s almost like she wanted to prove that they still had the kitten. then again, considering the fact that 2 of my three cats had to be put to sleep in that clinic…. maybe they weren’t so far off the mark to send me the picture.

and in exciting ‘fuck you’ news – turns out that a european court has determined that the song bmg merger should not have been authorized to proceed when it did. apparently they needed to provide more information before the merge was to be green-lit. then again – perhaps the merge would of never happened.

*le sigh* and then i’d still be working at the best job in the whole freakin’ world. but instead i’m working at a crappy job for crappy pay. don’t think i’m not looking for something that lets me plug my brain in a bit more. don’t think it for a moment. regardless, seems like good news for the peeps at warner and emi. this court finding may just delay their proposed merger (once again).

still reeling over the purchase of chum tv by bell globemedia. i was going to go snooping around for a job on the chum tv side of things. i almost think it’s not worth it right now. even if i did get a job there, who wants to go through a merger again, even if it is a “friendly” takeover bid. friendly… almost makes it sound like there will be face-painters and balloon animals and lollipops.

at long last there is new the killers music out! i love the song – but am not sure about it as a first single. you can have it rampage madly through your own brain by going to their myspace or hitting their website. yey for the killers! i miss the fun brandan flowers bitchery in the media.

and to kick off a fun weekend with the downstairs neighbours – the bastard nsf’d a cheque on me. urgh. he owed me 2 months of rent on the garage he’s renting from me (it came with my apartment and i don’t need it, yey for me!) and he freaking bounced the cheque. adding to the fun – my bank charged me $7.00 for the pleasure. it’s a good thing for him that i don’t have his phone number on hand. he would of gotten a slightly pissy and fairly condescending message from me. i’ll remember to play nice when i go knocking on his door looking for cash.

[music | the killers, “when you were young”]

swollen head

after fleeing work late in the afternoon yesterday, actually, it wasn’t fleeing so much as lurching, i ended up staying at home today. i can’t afford to take all these days off – but really, am i going to drag myself to work with a bad flu/cold/whatever in the pouring rain?

then i find that chum ltd (home to citytv and the much music family) is being bought out by Bell Globemedia (CTV, MTV Canada, TSN and others). wow. this is a giant move in broadcasting. on on a personal note – all of a sudden not getting an interview for the job at MTV that i would of been perfect for doesn’t matter anymore. who needs another merger mess right now? not me.

can you imagine it? a world without much music? they may have been swarmy and missed the point more than three-quarters of the time, but at least they weren’t from the land of dorks (CTV, in case you’re wondering). i hope that we don’t lose city tv here in toronto though – i’d miss my cp24 for quick local news. chum hasn’t commented yet – so this might still be speculation – then again, no one to be the one taken over.

last night was the 2nd installment of the live show for rockstar : supernova. and even though i could barely raise my head off of the back of the sofa, here are my thoughs – for what it’s worth.

magni – my generation
interacted with the house band, less ego-driven gimmicks and better audience relations. he looked and sounded better than he did last week. but i don’t think the band digs him.

jenny galt – tainted love
i actually *heart* this song and was really curious to see what she was going to do with it. she sang well her voice was not nearly as timid as it was last week. i think the performance was still a little dull, she needs to find a way to deliver a performance for this show. and what a strange comment by tommy lee at the end – telling her to go eat because she looked hungry.

jill gioia – violet
holy fuck. are you kidding me? are you going to apply for an impersonator job when you get booted. her performance was way too faithful to courtney love. and the band called her out on it. poor jill. this may just spell her doom.

zayra alvarez – you really got me
i can not say enough about this girl. she is an amazing performer who so far has delivered two very different and phenomenal performances, but i just don’t know WHY she’s on this show. she needs to find a producer to work with on her strange and quirky neo-gothic debut.

chris – take me out
he seemed to yell in the same tone constantly. i don’t know if there’s enough depth there. i found this performance boring and unfortunately, so did the supernova-ites.

dilanah – ring of fire
this woman is still the obvious winner, in my opinion. she took this powerful song and switched it up completely and made something all together new. looking like the high priestess of the hellfire club she delivered her song in a way that left no room for criticism. it was like a gothic wet dream meeting a snake charmer.

josh – arms wide open
stop smiling! just stop it! i have been known to hate-on creed and scott stapp before, but this performance made me wish i was listening to creed’s version. for those that know me – that says all i need to say.

phil ritchie – eyes wide open
the band is all over this guy. they lurve him. and i don’t know why. i think he’s a generic radio singer – but then again, if he’s a generic singer guy, he should garner some play for supernova, especially in the states. me – i just don’t get it.

storm large – surrender
great energy and a very strong voice. i think dave navarro gave her some great advice when he told her she needed to have character, not be a character. hopefully she takes this to heart.

patrice pike – heart shaped box
seeing her sit in the stands, i honestly didn’t know who she was. did her look change from last week? or was she that forgettable? i seem to recall that last week gilby clarke told her that she seemed to be the only one who really wanted the job. regardless, her performance this week did not connect for me.

lukas rossi – don’t panic
not being a coldplay person, i had no idea what this song was going to be, but was sure i’d recognize it when it started. not only did i not recognize it, but i actually think i’d buy lukas’ version of this song. i think the band put another coldplay song in the list this week just to see who’d be dumb enough to take it after their lesson of “song choice is king”. in someone else’s hands this could of been certain doom. for lukas, it was like icing on the cake left over from last week.

ryan star – jumpin’ jack flash
seeing him standing in the wings and hearing brooke burke say he was going to sing ‘jumpin jack flash’ i said aloud, “it’s gonna be like a wedding.” and it was. urgh. and he was dull and awkward on stage to boot.

dana – born to be wild
this girl has a fucking amazing voice, so incredible. but, watching her this week was painful. it was hard to watch her mince about like a sex-kitten. she needs to figure it out – but i think with some guidance – she will.

toby – somebody told me
someone did this song last season and just sucked. this guy did not suck and actually was able to pull it off. but i kept wishing that he’d done more of an industrial feel to his arrangement. it would of been killer with his voice.

the result show runs tonight. from their comments – i think supernova is leading the audience to put chris in the bottom three again and i think he’ll be heading home – unless someone does some bone-head move like duran duran again, or wears another wedding dress.

[music | pink floyd, “wish you were here”]